


So Much For Suicide. (Nick Clark x Reader.) FTWD

by Kaylercool



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Continuation, F/M, FTWD, Fanfiction, Fear, Frank Dillane - Freeform, Nicholas Clark - Freeform, Nick Clark x Reader, Season 3 finale spoilers, fear the walking dead, fearthewalkingdead, feartwd, nick clark - Freeform, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 11:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13546005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylercool/pseuds/Kaylercool
Summary: How will the reader respond to Nick's big decision in the season 3 finale? What will become of the characters once it all comes tumbling down?





	So Much For Suicide. (Nick Clark x Reader.) FTWD

I stood next to Nick in a small room at the dam. My gaze was focused on Proctor John as I listened to him taunt the others. The tone of his voice made me sick and angry. I could feel my hands shaking, but I tried to stay as calm as possible. My eyes wandered over to Nick. He noticed and gave me a small, reassuring smile. I softly sighed, returning my attention to the man before us.

“What a perverse family you have, Alicia from Los Angeles. You’ve been a good nurse to me,” Proctor chuckled. Alicia stared back, disgust evident on her face. Proctor’s smile suddenly fell as he became more serious, “but, you know what I have to do now-“ 

“Wait, listen to me-“ Madison interrupted, earning Proctor’s attention.

“Shut up, mother.” She looked annoyed but hushed anyway. He began to continue, “I have to kill her because I have to kill her brother. I’ll never be able to trust her again after that.” He returned his gaze towards Alicia. “I’ll kill you first, so you don’t have to witness what follows.” He once again returned his attention to Madison. ”But you, mother killer, you’re a better witness.” She scowled at him. Then, he turned his attention towards me. I held my breath for a moment. 

“I’m sorry, but who is she? Doesn’t seem to be part of the family.” He stared intently at me, and I couldn’t form any words. I just stared back at him coldly. Nick spoke up.

“¬____. She’s been with us since early on. She’s practically family.” A slight smile reached my lips but disappeared within seconds. I nodded my head. Proctor smirked at me, making my stomach churn.

“Hm, and when should I kill you? Perhaps after Alicia. It really is a shame that I have to put down another pretty face.” I curled my lip in disgust. I heard Nick mutter something under his breath, but I brushed it off. Proctor, however, did not. “Well, seems you distaste that, huh? Just what is she to you, young Nick?” Proctor knowingly smirked. Nick and I remained quiet.

Soon, I was walking along the bridge with the Clarks and Strand. My hand held onto Nick’s tightly as we all proceeded forward together. Proctor and his men followed closely behind us. I swallowed roughly as we reached the middle of the bridge. Proctor then ordered us to all say our goodbyes, so we all joined in a group hug. I held on tightly and let a tear slide down my cheek.

I had met Nick near the very beginning of the outbreak. He helped me escape from a hoard of walkers that I had lost my entire family to. He invited me to travel with him and his family without even giving it a second thought. At this point, Nick and his family were the only friends, or should I say family, I had left. It didn’t take long before I began to fall for the strange, yet sweet boy; and now, I’m about to lose everything all over again. 

Suddenly, I was pulled away by one of Proctor’s men. I struggled at first, but quickly gave in. My head became clouded and I couldn’t focus. 

“There’s an endgame here Proctor. One in which you did not plan.” Strand’s words snapped me out of my daze. My eyes glued on him, eager to know what Strand had up his sleeve, yet skeptical. Proctor didn’t seem phased by his words in the slightest.

“You really do talk too much,” said Proctor.

“Lola and Daniel didn’t have enough guns to defend the dam, so they wired it with explosives,” Strand said, just before turning around to face the man we all loathed. 

“Bullshit,” said one of Proctor’s men. 

“C4 to build the dam, C4 to take it down.” Strand sneered, cockiness evident in his voice. A look of annoyance enveloped Proctor’s face.

“Take his tongue already,” he ordered one of his men. They obliged and began heading towards the cunning man. Strand began backing up and threw his hands in the air. 

“No more lies, Proctor,” Strand spoke, digging through his pockets desperately. He seemed to have trouble finding whatever he was looking for, and the fear on his face was obvious.

“You got a hole in your pocket?” Asked one of Proctor’s men as he got a hold of Strand and held him still. Strand fought desperately to break free, but to no avail. 

“Strand,” We all turned our attention towards Nick, who had his hands on the detonator. My face went white and I wiggled in the grip of one of Proctor’s men. “It says it’s armed,” Nick spoke calmly. I took a deep breath, and a gun was raised to the back of Madison’s head. Nick swallowed roughly at this. Proctor smirked, gesturing to a man behind me. Then, a gun was raised behind my head as well. I held my breath, scared to move. Nick looked horrified at this point. 

“Nick, don’t touch the other button,” Strand called, fear in his voice.

Nick immediately flipped a switch on the detonator. “What, the one that says detonate?” Nick then held the detonator up high, earning Proctor’s full attention. Proctor smirked, obviously amused.

“What’s your play, Nick?” Proctor stared the boy down, the smirk never leaving his face. Nick looked more serious than ever.

“Tell him to put his gun down.” Proctor signaled to one of his men, and he did as he was instructed. I took a deep breath. 

“N-Nick.” I choked out softly, unable to form anything other than his name. Even if I knew what to say in this moment, I’m not sure I would have been able to get it out. 

“My mom, sister, ____, and Strand are going to take a zodiac across the lake.” Nick spoke, pointing towards what was on the other side of the fence surrounding the bridge. 

“Nick, don’t do this,” Madison begged. Nick ignored her plea. 

“Just go as far up river as you can,” he spoke. I shook my head violently, the tears now spilling freely. 

“We’ll pursue them,” Proctor spoke. 

“Nick, just come with us, please,” Alicia pleaded. 

“He can’t do that, nurse. The detonator has a range,” said Proctor. “You go with them you lose your leverage, right?”

“I’m not negotiating, John. This is my suicide note,” Nick spoke softly. A pit formed in my stomach as his words entered my ears. 

“Nick! There’s no way in hell I’m letting you do this!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, earning the attention of everyone. Proctor seemed amused. 

“So, the girl can speak for herself,” said Proctor. I clenched my fists. Nick stepped towards me and his family. Madison just shook her head in disbelief while Alicia stood there dumbfounded. I wiggled around in my holder’s arms, not caring about the gun behind my head. I could see the pain deep within Nick’s eyes. It broke my heart.

“Go,” Nick started, tears forming in his eyes as he faced his mother. “Because you have no choice. If you don’t go, we all die.” He paused, turning his attention towards me. “So, just go, please,” Nick choked out. Madison and Alicia began walking away, exchanging one last look with Nick. Madison tugged on my sleeve, but I ripped my arm away and shook my head violently. Seeing no hope in changing my mind, they continued forward. Nick eyed me curiously. I stared back, then shot him a small, quick smile. 

“You’re not the only one with a suicide note,” I whispered. I then kicked my holder in the shin, causing him to lose his grip on me. The other man behind me shot his gun, but the bullet managed to miss me. I scrambled towards Nick and clutched his jacket. He quickly lifted the detonator into the air and we both backed up against the fence. Proctor John chuckled slightly, pacing around the bridge with a smile on his face, never taking his eyes off the both of us.

“Deep down she’s feisty, huh?” Proctor joked. “I’m going to enjoy ending her and the rest of your family once we find them later.” 

“You don’t survive this,” Nick shook his head, then turned his attention towards me as I continued to cling onto his jacket. I looked straight into his eyes. “And you need to catch up with the others, ____” 

“You know it’s too late, Nick. Besides, there’s not even enough room for four people. I’d just be dead weight.” I smiled sadly. Nick opened his mouth to object, but I cut him off before he could even begin. “You know how I said I wasn’t letting you do this?” I paused for a second, biting my lip nervously. Nick nodded his head yes. “And do you know what I mean by ‘this’?”

Nick shook his head no, obviously confused by what I meant. “What do you mean, ___?” 

“I’m not letting you leave me. This way, we both leave together.” Nick shook his head no, seeming upset by my words. He kept looking between me and the Proctors, being cautious. 

“I wish you wouldn’t have done this. You should have gone with them,” he said, looking over to his family as they were riding along the lake in the zodiac. 

“It’s too late to change my decision, and I’m okay with that.” I let go of his jacket, grabbing onto his free hand and interlacing my fingers with his. He tightened his hand around mine without hesitation. Nick still didn’t approve of my decision, but he knew that I’d never be able to make it to the zodiac now, so he just accepted it. Proctor John seemed a bit annoyed at this point. 

“I’m getting bored, Nick. Just give me the device,” Proctor spoke, approaching us a bit. Nick instinctively held the device up higher. “I might even spare the girl if you hand it over,” he smirked. Nick seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, considering the offer John was tempting him with. I tugged on his sleeve. 

“Nick, you know he’s lying. If he doesn’t kill me first, you know he’ll just kill me after you. There’s no way his word is good,” I pleaded for Nick to ignore him. Proctor John chuckled at my words, earning another glare from me.

“You’re bluffing anyway, Nick. You won’t blow up the dam, especially with her here. You don’t have the guts. You’re not a killer.” Proctor continued to pace around the bridge.

“Let’s see, shall we?” Nick swallowed nervously as he tried his best to keep on a brave face, but Proctor didn’t seem to notice. Nick turned his attention towards his family for a moment. They had moved up the lake quite a bit, but not quite as far as he had hoped. 

Suddenly, gunshots began flying everywhere, earning our attention. Nick stepped in front of me and we both tried to stay out of range. The gunshots were hitting the Proctors, and we didn’t seem to be the targets. In the distance, we saw Daniel. He hurried up the bridge, shooting his gun without hesitation, taking down many of Proctor’s men.   
Nick and I turned back towards the fence, noticing that Madison, Alicia, and Strand had gotten farther away. I looked down at Nick’s hand as his thumb fiddled against the switch. He was hesitating. I took a deep breath, then placed my hand over his, pushing his thumb down onto the switch. We both continued to stare off into the distance, the bridge beginning to collapse under our feet. Proctor and his men scattered.

I felt a sudden tug on my sleeve that didn’t come from Nick. Nick and I turned to see Daniel. He beckoned us to escape with him. We all began running down the cracked bridge. The bridge was collapsing quickly, and we didn’t have much time. I ran beside Nick, my heart racing rapidly. Then, I tripped. I desperately tried to get up from the shaking bridge. I could hear Nick calling my name. Then, all I could remember was the sensation of falling. 

My eyes fluttered open and I weakly looked around. I seemed to have washed up somewhere. My memories of our previous endeavor started flooding back within seconds. I began panicking, looking up the bank and all around me frantically. I noticed someone in the distance. I weakly made my way over to them, immediately falling to my knees as I noticed who it was. 

“Nick, no, no,” I started, leaning over him, shaking him desperately. “You’re not dead. Say you’re not dead,” I mumbled as I continued to shake him, tears blurring my vision. His eyes weakly opened as he stared up at me. I didn’t notice at first, due to my tears. 

“I’m not dead,” he faintly mumbled, catching me a bit off guard. He rubbed his eyes and sighed softly. A smile formed on my lips and I laughed slightly. A smile appeared on his face as well. Nick and I both sat up.

“So much for our suicide notes,” I spoke. We were both sitting across from each other with our legs crossed at this point. My eyes quickly scanned over his figure. He looked exhausted and a bit beat up. My eyes then met his. 

“I once claimed I was suicide proof. Maybe there was some truth to it after all.” Nick said, shrugging his shoulders. I placed my hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch slightly. 

“Are you okay?” I asked worriedly. He nodded his head, giving me a reassuring smile that faded just as quickly as it came.

“I’m fine, but what about you, ___?” Nick asked. 

“I’m fine too,” I softly said. At this point, my mind was swimming. When I thought it was the end for me, I did some bold things. I basically told Nick I wanted to die along with him, which was true, but also seemed like a dead giveaway to my true feelings for him. The thought of rejection terrified me. 

“I can tell something is on your mind, ___.” Nick paused for a second, searching my eyes for answers. I stared back, hoping he wouldn’t see through me. “Why did you decide to stay by my side at the dam?” he questioned me. Curiosity and something else I couldn’t decipher was burning in his eyes. 

“Well, you didn’t leave me behind that day,” I spoke, knowing that wasn’t the only reason. It wasn’t the main reason either. Nick looked disappointed by my answer.

“Oh. ___, no. You don’t need to-“ I shook my head, causing Nick to stop speaking. 

“No, I wasn’t just trying to repay a debt. I just-“ I paused for a moment, noticing Nick sit up straight and listen intently to me. I became nervous and began fiddling with my fingers. “I care about you a lot, Nick. Simple as that,” I spoke quietly, biting my lip. Nick then leaned in closer. My heart sped up and my breath got caught in my throat. I couldn’t rip my eyes from his, even though I was rather nervous. I felt his hand grab mine. I boldly tightened my grip, trying to toss aside my fear. Before I knew it, he let go of my hand and pulled me into a tight hug. Not exactly what I was expecting, but nice nonetheless. I nuzzled my face into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him as well, letting the calmness overtake me. Then, something he said made my heart almost leap out of my chest.

“I love you, ___,” He whispered right into my ear. I tightened my grip around him just before slowly pulling away. My eyes met his. I couldn’t help but smile brightly, which earned a smile from him. 

“I-I love you too, Nick,” I nervously spoke. I turned my head away, only for his fingers to gently grab my chin and turn me back towards him. He began to lean in again, and yet again my heart started pounding like crazy. Unlike last time, our lips did connect. My eyes slowly closed as I felt calmness wash over me. His lips were soft, warm, and sweet. Perfection. 

The kiss ended just as quickly as it began. Much sooner than I would have liked, honestly. Nick and I both smiled at each other, then a realization hit me. My eyes widened a bit. Nick noticed and gave me a questioning look.

“Nick, do you think we should look for the others? At least find somewhere to go for tonight?” I asked. Nick stood up, and I followed suit. 

“Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea,” He answered, grabbing my hand. We then began heading down the bank hand in hand, in hopes of finding our other traveling companions. We were hoping they were all alright.


End file.
